


The Chronicles of a Bartender

by hxrxgeous



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Always, Multi, doffy is the best bartender, everyone loves him, for once he's right, give the boy a rest already!, he's a sexy sassy bartender therapist, he's not a tulip, he's very edgy, kid is so done, luffy defines shit in different ways, roci and doffy never play nice, roci gets surprisingly edgy, the ultimate brother combo, verdofla, vergo steals all the spoons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 01:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8124955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hxrxgeous/pseuds/hxrxgeous
Summary: When Doflamingo opened up a bar he didn’t expect to meet so many crazy people. He also didn’t expect ending up befriending them. Nor did he expect to get pulled into madness. Tags & Relations will be updated as the story continues.





	1. Meeting Kid

**Author's Note:**

> Do you ever refuse to let go of an asshole-character whose screen-time is kinda over? Yeah...

“This is a nice place,” Rocinante said as he stood in front of the empty building.  
“I know right,” Doflamingo got out of the car as well and walked up to his brother: “All I have to do is get some furniture and supplies and I’ll be ready to go.”  
“Still, I never saw you as a bartender…” Rocinante tilted his head: “I’ve always imagined you as a business-man.”  
“Please, that’s boring.”  
“Hm, I suppose,” the younger blond shrugged: “Shall we get a look inside?”  
“Sure, I’m counting on you baby bro.”  
“Call me that again and I’m giving you additional fees.”  
“Fees for what?”  
“Fees for humiliating me.”  
“What a crafty way to swindle money from your own brother.”  
“Well what can I say? Perhaps we’re more similar than just appearance,” Rocinante smirked as he ran face-first into the glass door.

  
~0~

  
With Rocinante’s help, Doflamingo was able to set up the interior in 4 days.  
“That was exhausting,” the shorter Donquixote sighed as he sat down onto a couch. He suddenly jolted up: “Oh no!”  
“What now? Jeez, relax will you?”  
“Doffy, what is the name of your bar?”  
Doflamingo laughed as he sat down next to his brother, patting him onto the shoulder: “Really? That’s what you’re making a fuss about? The damn name of this place?”  
Rocinante huffed and crosses his arms, clearly pissed at his brother mocking him for his silly thought: “Well then enlighten me dear brother.”  
“Champdion.”  
“What?” Rocinante stared for a few seconds before he frowned: “You’re not kidding?”  
“What? I like it.”  
“It’s strange Doffy. No, let me re-phrase that. It sounds so strange… It sounds like a… I don’t even know!”  
“Good,” Doflamingo chuckled in reply: “Then it fits me for sure.”

  
~0~

  
The first days were empty and quiet. Doflamingo hadn’t really promoted the place and as such, most people walked by without even knowing the place was there, or open for the matter. The blond didn’t mind though, as it allowed him to experiment with cocktails and wait until all supplies had been delivered.

  
On Friday, Vergo and Rocinante arrived.  
“Well, my two first guests.”  
“If you want to we can always promote this place,” Rocinante gave his older brother a stern look: “If you don’t pay attention you’ll be out of money before getting any!”  
“Don’t worry, I might not’ve become a business man but I know how to do stuff like this.”  
“Oh I’m sure.”  
“Doffy, if you need any help you can ask me,” Vergo said as he sat down at the counter.  
“I know, I know, but I’ll do this on my own.”  
“I still think you should allow us to help.”  
“Okay, how about a bet?” Doflamingo leaned forwards onto the counter.  
“What’s the bet?”  
“After 4 months, this place will be full of people. If I fail, I’ll admit you guys were right. If I win, you guys admit you were wrong. How about it?”  
“For some reason those conditions sounds too good to be true…”  
“Well the losers are going to admit their defeat to mom on Christmas.”  
“YOU FUCKER!”

  
~0~

  
“Ah, welcome.”  
The bell of the door made Doflamingo peek out of the back and just as expected, a customer arrived. He had bright red hair and looked out of breath. Strutting to the counter, he sat down and slammed his hand onto the counter.  
“Please pretend to talk to me!”  
“What?” raising an eyebrow, Doflamingo stood in front of the guy and leaned against the shelves: “Why?”  
“Listen man just do this for me okay?”  
“Why? You being chased or something?”  
“Kinda… I ran away from my dad.”  
Doflamingo gave the kid a sympathetic look. He and his father had never really gotten along either after the move from their home-country. He often sneaked out at night and roamed the streets: it was how he had met Vergo, a person who had changed his life quite a bit.  
“Okay, shall I get you something to drink?”  
The guy sighed: “I’m not of age yet.”  
“Don’t worry, I’ve got juice and milk as well.”  
“I’m not that young either!” he snarled: “Anyways, I didn’t even know this was a bar.”  
“Well, I started out a week ago.”  
“Wow,” the youth extended his hand: “My name’s Eustass Kid.”  
“Well nice to meet you,” two rows of bright white teeth were revealed: “Donquixote Doflamingo.”

  
~0~

  
Kid stopped by frequently after that. Doflamingo got to know quite a bit about him: he was a high-school student, lived with his dad, never knew his mother and was the trouble-maker and loner of his class.  
The blond would be lying if he said he hadn’t warmed up to the youth: the way the kid talked was amusing and if anything, he was a hard worker.  
“I just hate it man,” leaning back, Kid let out a sigh: “No matter how hard I study, I just can’t wrap my head around the subject.”  
“Then why are you in that field of study?”  
“My dad told me to pick this one,” Kid groaned: “And if anything, I can’t argue with my dad. Not unless-…”  
“Unless what?” Doflamingo’s head popped up from behind the counter, placing the bottles he was replacing onto the ground. Elbows resting on the wooden surface, he tilted his head: “Something happened Kid?”  
“Nah not really,” scratching the back of his head, the student groaned: “It’s just… Arguments with my dad aren’t really pretty. He screams a lot… We don’t have many neighbors though so no one hears.”  
“If he does more than screaming you get out of that house, hear me?”  
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.”

 

~0~

  
Two weeks after the start and more regulars showed up. They melted like ice-cream in the summer-heat to Doflamingo’s charms and the Donquixote realized Vergo had been right all along, going on about him having a certain kind of charm.  
He met more students from the same school as Kid’s, Raftel if he recalled right. Most of them were more reserved and came to the bar for student parties or just to hang out after a tiresome week.  
Fridays were the busiest and had the most diversity of customers, Doflamingo concluded as he watched the bar. If this went on, he would even need some servers. That thought made him chuckle and gave rise to a strange bubbly feeling inside his chest.  
But just as always, his life was never a peaceful good ride.  
Slamming the doors open, Kid entered. His clothes were ragged, his mouth was bleeding and he had huge bruises on his arms and face.

  
“Please pretend I’m not here,” he murmured before collapsing.


	2. Meeting Luffy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy is the best worst friend you can ever get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ain't the last they'll have seen of Luffy.

“Hm… This is definitely the result of physical abuse,” Law concluded. After having been called by his uncle, the grumpy surgeon had agreed on examining the kid, if only because Doflamingo didn’t want to involve anyone else for the moment.

“Must’ve been his dad,” the blond hissed and he felt a vein throb on his forehead.

“I guess. You should call child protection… He’s still a minor isn’t he?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I’m not gonna spread it around, but you’re gonna have to involve people, no matter what he says. These wounds are severe and things might get worse. Wouldn’t be the first time a parent uses a bottle or other kitchen-ware to attack their kids. Do you know anything about his dad?”

“Not really. Not to mention that using his surname didn’t give any information-results.”

Law tapped his chin before standing up: “Well, hate to tell you but I have to go back to the hospital: I’ve taken Shachi’s shift.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks Lawsy.”

“Don’t call me that,” Law grumpily replied as he left the back of the bar.

“Wow is he always like that,” Kid croaked as he opened his eyes.

“Nah, not when Roci is around. Then he’s all unicorns and rainbows.”

“For some reason I find that hard to imagine.”

“Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit.”

“Fucking called it.”

“But what about you?” Doflamingo’s voice turned serious as he looked at the kid: “How long has your dad been abusing you?”

Kid rolled his eyes: “Please let’s not have this conversation.”

“Oh but we’re having this conversation,” the blond countered: “Now tell me.”

“Or else?”

“Hm,” leaning forwards he whispered something into Kid’s ear.

“You wouldn’t!!!”

“Now what will it be?”

Sweating, Kid took a deep breath: “Man, you’re more dangerous than you look!”

“Well, it was either bartender or mafia-boss.”

 

~0~

 

“You can’t keep the kid here forever Doffy,” Vergo said as he stirred his cup of coffee: “You should contact child support.”

“I guess,” Doflamingo sighed, resting his hand onto his elbow. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, Kid’s story branded into his memory. The moment he closed his eyes it felt as if he was there, in Kid’s place, enduring the abuse. He felt it on his arms, felt the words burn his skin away, revealing his vulnerable self.

“Doffy?”

“Hm, yes?”

“You could always call the police. I can go to the boy’s house with a team and take note of signs of abuse.”

“That’s the problem, Kid doesn’t want to tell me who his dad is or where they live. That’s fishy, ain’t it?”

“Many children that suffer from abuse go through this process. Don’t get too attached.”

Vergo stood up and that evening Doflamingo noticed he was missing a spoon.

 

~0~

 

“Hey sir!!!! Is Kid here?!!!”

Turning around, Doflamingo spotted another student. This one was unknown however. Big, chocolate-brown eyes stared straight at him: “Hey, hey!!!”

“Well aren’t you impatient. What’s the name?”

“Monkey D. Luffy!”

“Monkey-?” he choked. The same surname as the Deputy Sheriff, Monkey D. Garp.

“So, so, so, where’s Kid?!!! He’s here isn’t he??!!!”

“Slow down cowboy,” Doflamingo sighed: “Even if he was here, what kind of business do you have with him?”

“Hm… None! He hasn’t been to school so I came to check up on him!”

“How did you know he was here?”

“Hmm… Oh, well, Killer said Kid hangs around here a lot! So you must’ve seen him right? Right? Right?!!!”

“You’re so annoying,” Doflamingo gritted his teeth: it was hard to keep his calm around this brat for a reason unknown to him: “And who’s Killer?”

“Ah, you don’t know? He’s like… Kid’s best friend, shishishi!”

“Okay, sit your ass down, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Shishi, thank you sir!!!”

 

~0~

 

“He’s a pain in the ass, please don’t let him see me. He’s just gonna poke fun at me,” Kid growled as he placed his pen down.

“You can’t avoid your friends forever,” Doflamingo remarked.

“He’s not my friend. He’s a loud blabbering idiot who can’t stop annoying me.”

Chuckling, the blond went over to the redhead: “Sounds exactly like the kind of distraction you need right now.”

“But he’ll see these,” Kid pointed at his bruises: “He’s gonna make fun of me.”

“I’m sure he won’t.”

“You sound like a kindergarten teacher or something, maybe you should’ve considered that job as well.”

“Hm,” Doflamingo feigned to think about it before a scary smile appeared on his face: “Well parents don’t really like teachers that know how to hide a body.”

“You’re one scary motherfucker.”

 

~0~

 

“Man, we were all scared when you disappeared!” Luffy practically beamed with happiness as he sat down with Kid, talking about whatever the hell he came up with. But not once did he mention the bruises or Kid’s father, so Doflamingo suspected the child was unconsciously smarter than he looked.

“Man, those are huge bruises!”

Okay maybe he was a tactless idiot.

“Yeah, I guess,” Kid shrugged.

“Your dad is mean, I don’t like him.”

“Thanks pal, I don’t like him either.”

“Should I beat him up?”

“You’re fucking dumb you know that.”

“Shishi, Nami tells me that too after I did something stupid!”

“I pity the idiots that are your friends.”

“What are you talking about? You’re my friend too!”

“No I’m _not_.”

“Of course you are! Are you an idiot?!”

“You’re the idiot here!” Kid roared as he lashed out at Luffy. Luffy laughed as he dodged.

“Why are you getting upset?”

“You’re a pain in the ass, get out!”

“E-h? Why? It’s fun in here! I like this place! I think I’ll stay here as well!”

“This is not a hotel you know,” Doflamingo sighed: “Kid is just staying here for a while, that’s all.”

“Can I stay here for a while as well?”

“No,” Kid and Doflamingo replied in unison.

“Eh! That’s mean! Why is Kid allowed to stay and I’m not?!” pointing at Kid, Luffy glared at Doflamingo.

“Because Kid needs it.”

“I don’t accept that explanation at all!” Luffy growled: “Okay, fight me!”

“Fight you? For what? This bar is mine,” Doflamingo face-palmed.

“A-ah, all this moving around made me hungry~. Food please!”

“Get out.”

 

~0~

 

“Bye Kid, I’ll make sure to visit more!” Luffy waved as he ran out of the bar. After a _loud_ phone-call of his brother named Ace, the raven had realized he should’ve been at home so he had to say goodbye, something both Kid and Doflamingo did not mind.

“Well, he’s definitely obnoxious.”

“He’s a pain in the ass,” Kid replied as he played around with an empty glass: “He’s in the year below me.”

“Yet you’ve spoken each other?” a hint of teasing present in his voice, Doflamingo snatched the empty glass out of the youth’s hand.

“I had no choice okay! He’s not my friend!”

“Well I could care less about whether or not he _is_ your friend, but I’d like it if he didn’t invite more of your friends, or peers. This is still a bar.”

“I know,” Kid gave a nod: “He just doesn’t.”

“I’d rather not have him around again,” the blond thought for a second: “Maybe I should ask his brother to keep him away.”

“Portgas D. Ace? Nah, if you do he’s just gonna come over as well.”

“You know Luffy’s brother?”

“Yeah… I hung out at their house once.”

“He’s not my friend~,” Doflamingo shrieked.

“Shut up!” Kid roared, swinging his pen around.


	3. Things to call your brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doflamingo and Rocinante definitely have some interesting stories to share... One day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luffy Logic = best logic

“So is this like an after-school student-club?” Rocinante frowned as he pointed at Kid and Luffy. The two were seated near the back of the bar, Luffy violently swinging his arms around, mouth stuffed on snacks while Kid shielded himself after a barricade of books and his bag.

“No,” Doflamingo face-palmed: “Kid’s staying here and Luffy invited himself… Do they even know this is a bar?”

“Well, it’s because of you dear brother,” Rocinante laughed: “Your face just screams ‘I’m a mother-hen’!”

“Ah shut it!” Doflamingo retorted as he pushed his brother off the bar stool. Still chuckling like an idiot, Rocinante reached out.

“Help me mom!”

“Drop dead!”

 

“He seems like a nice guy!” Luffy laughed as he looked from Doflamingo and Rocinante back to his reluctant conversation-partner.

“He just pushed his brother off a stool… What if he broke his neck? He’s not a nice guy.”

“Eh?!! But then that would mean you’re staying with a mean guy!!!”

“Well maybe I’m mean too?”

Luffy squinted at Kid, who slightly flinched at that.

“Nah… You’re nice.”

“I’m gonna hit you,” Kid growled, eyebrow twitching.

“Still… Bonney said there was a creepy guy at the school entrance once.”

“Seriously? Guess I owe Jewellery one.”

“Why?”

“Guy must be my father’s henchman or something,” Kid scratched his chin: “I’m sure they’re still out there looking for me: it’d be pretty bad for my dad if things got public.”

“Hm, how come?” Luffy inquired as he finished the last of the bar-snacks.

“Well it’s because… No wait a second why am I even telling you this???!! Ah just get away from me!!!”

“Why the hell are you being mean?!!” Luffy shouted as the two bumped foreheads: “You wanna go?!!”

 

“What the hell is up with those kids?” Rocinante asked as he remained seated onto the floor, one long arm resting on his former seat.

“Who knows…? That strawhat-kid ate all the snacks I had stocked for three months… I wonder if he’ll get sick or something.”

“Hehe,” Rocinante showed a goofy grin before he continued in a high-pitched voice: “Oh no~, what if that poor boy gets sick??? I should check up on him te-he~!”

“Oops,” Doflamingo gasped as he dropped a cocktail-shaker onto his brother’s head.

 

“WHAT THE HELL FUCKER?!”

Kid and Luffy broke apart upon spotting Rocinante jumping up, roaring at the top of his lungs.

“Hm, did something happen?” crossing his arms, Doflamingo glared right back at the younger blond.

“Are they gonna fight?!” Luffy mumbled as he sat next to Kid.

“How the hell am I-?! Why the hell are you so close anyways?!!!”

“So that’s how you want to play it hm,” Rocinante grinned as the two brothers leaned forwards onto the counter.

“No, I really don’t know what you’re talking about, baby brother.”

“That so, my dear big brother…”

 

The door was slammed open, breaking the two blonds apart.

“There we go~,” a tall man stepped inside. He looked ridiculous, chest exposed, a pair of round, children’s goggles and slicked back hair that shone so much that it looked like bird poop. At least that’s what Luffy saw.

“What’s up with the bird-poop-guy?” he yelled at Kid.

“How the hell am I supposed to know, dumbass.”

“Doesn’t look like customers,” Rocinante’s expression turned serious, lowering his head, voice reduced to a low whisper.

“Yeah,” Doflamingo’s voice was the exact same, low and whisper like, however, it only remained for a few seconds. Placing a smile on his face, he gave the man a nod.

“How can I help you?”

“I’m looking for that shit,” the man said and he pointed at Kid.

 

~0~

 

“And that’s how he got defeated by a donut!” Bellemere laughed as she finished her story.

“Hina suspicious,” Hina interrupted: “I highly doubt such thing happened.”

“Oh come on Hina, it happened alright.”

Hina’s lips turned into a thin line as she remained silent.

“Come on girl I can _see_ you’re still doubting me,” Bellemere laughed, not in the slightest bothered.

“Well as amusing as that was, lunch-break is almost over.”

“Come on,” Vergo said as he stood up, heading back to his desk.

“Vergo, Smoker,” Bastille appeared: “There’s a bar fight not so far away from here. I want you two to check it out.”

 

“Yes sir!”

~0~

 

Rocinante stumbled back as he held his arm, blood seeping through his fingers.

“What’s wrong?” the woman named Ginrummy, who had jumped out of nowhere, brandished her knife while singing.

“You have horrible taste in music,” Rocinante shot back: “Then again, looking at your skimpy outfit and horrible face, I shouldn’t have made my expectations that high.”

“Asshole!” pissed off, Ginrummy stormed forwards,

“You say that like an insult,” Rocinante grinned: “I say everyone has one, so what’s the problem.”

The next series of attacks were easier to dodge and the blond dropped himself onto the floor, a foot mercilessly slamming into Ginrummy’s high-heel. The shoe broke and she fell onto her ass.

“Don’t underestimate me just because I’m a bit clumsy,” Rocinante smiled: “Donquixote Rocinante, nice to meet you.”

“I don’t care you fuck!”

“Ah pity,” Rocinante shrugged: “Most of the time people are _dying_ to know my name.”

“Roci I swear to God cut that out,” Doflamingo yelled as he punched Sheepshead right into the face.

“But mom!!!” Rocinante fake-whined: “You never let me have fun mom! I hate you mom!!!”

“Stop throwing dirt onto our mother’s name you spoiled banana-stick.”

“Same to you erected noodle!”

 

Luffy let out a laugh: “These guys are really fun!!!”

“Luffy this is not the time to be laughing,” Kid sweat dropped.

“Why not? It’s fun to watch!”

“Don’t you get it? These guys are here to take me back home!”

“Wait what?!! Why didn’t you say so?! I’m gonna kick their asses!” Luffy yelled as he dashed to the fight.

“Get back here you idiot!”

 

Planting his foot onto Sheepshead’s chest, Doflamingo let out a huff: “Are you done?”

“Yes mom,” Rocinante hissed as he held Ginrummy into a tight grip.

“Not talking to you, Love Live!”

“Well _excuse meeeeeee_ Idol master.”

“Aaaaa!!!” loudly screaming, Luffy dashed forwards.

“Luffy what are you doing?!” Doflamingo scowled.

“Helping!”

“The fight’s already over kid,” Rocinante laughed.

“Eh??! Kid this is all your fault!!!”

“I know don’t rub it in!!” Kid yelled back.

“You should’ve told me beforehand!!!”

“What?! That’s your problem?! That guy told you he was here for me!”

“No, he said he was here for a shit! He never said it was your shit!”

“What in the name of everything holy are you on?!!”

“Can you guys stop the argument,” Doflamingo scoffed.

“Yeah, you two look ridiculous right now,” Rocinante chimed in.

“…”

“I don’t want to hear that from you two.”

 

~0~

 

“We’ll be taking these guys, but we can’t really arrest them for long… Technically speaking they only started violence in public,” Vergo explained as Smoker pushed the two into the back of the police-car.

“Well that sucks,” Doflamingo sighed, his foot absently bumping into Vergo’s underneath the table. The raven gave a chuckle: “Indeed. But we’ll make a profile up from them, so who knows… We might get more information on them… _And_ Kid’s father.”

Glancing at Kid, Doflamingo gave a nod: “Please let me know if you find anything new.”

“Sure, I’ll try my best.”

“The criminals are in the ca-, oh come on,” Smoker growled, spotting the feet of the two touching each other underneath the table: “Sir.”

“Why yes Smoker,” Vergo grinned as he stood up: “Well then, we apologize for being late mister Donquixote.”

“If you’re late tonight you’ll have to do more than apologize.”

Vergo left the bar while Smoker, a slightly pink, glared at the blond.

“What’s wrong Smoker?”

“Stop doing that Donquixote.”

“Doing what?”

“You know exactly what,” Smoker huffed.

 

“Ah Smoker, still as charming as always,” Rocinante laughed as he leaned onto Doflamingo, much to the latter’s dismay.

“I can’t believe you two had a thing once.”

“We did not,” Rocinante snarled: “That was just one of Bellemere’s rumours.”

“I suppose so… I mean, even you wouldn’t go with Smoker.”

“What the hell do you mean with ‘even you’?!”

“I wonder if Smoker is a good chaser in the bedroom,” Doflamingo mumbled to himself before standing up to go back to the counter, making Rocinante fall

onto his ass during the process.


	4. Boyfriends & Brats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of good title ideas for this chapter - whooops - and I'm also really late -ahahaha-.  
> I'm also thinking about introducing manga-only characters, though I don't want to scare readers off ^^;;;  
> Well if you don't know One Piece Film Gold: the villain's really nice and might make an appearance.

After closing the bar and making sure Kid was asleep in the storage room, Doflamingo headed out into the night. The wind was cold, as normal in autumn, and the flickering street-lamps showered certain spots of the streets into a sight quite nostalgic for the Donquixote. Doflamingo had always loved cities by night: busy streets, lots of flashing lights and speeding cars, but also the alleyways and abandoned little streets: the broken lamps, the graffiti, the damaged bikes and the scattered trash. Even the horrendous scent had a certain charm. In contrast with the neat city, it made Doflamingo enjoy himself. Another strange thing he couldn’t describe.

Vergo called it Doflamingo being ‘artistic and poetic’.

Rocinante called it Doflamingo on crack, cheap version.

Snorting at those thoughts, Doflamingo continued his walk. His apartment was closer to the city-edge and as such, it would still take him a rough 30 minutes to get there by foot, around 15 to 20 minutes if he caught the bus or a taxi.

But the walk homewards was worth the cold wind and the goose bumps.

 

Upon arriving at his apartment, he noticed the door itself unlocked. Frowning, he entered.

“Vergo?”

“Oh Doffy,” Vergo appeared at the end of the hallway.

“I didn’t know you had day-shift today,” Doflamingo teased.

“You knew,” Vergo calmly replied, either not getting the joke or just not wanting to play along with Doflamingo’s game. Regardless  the blond ended up smiling.

“Vergo~,” draping himself onto the couch, Doflamingo kicked his shoes off: “I am very, very tired.”

“Then you should go to bed,” was Vergo’s reply as he headed back into the kitchen.

“Did you make food?”

“Yes.”

“Thank God you did,” Doflamingo sighed as he nestled into the pillows: “I’m exhausted.”

“You should sleep.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then don’t complain.”

Pouting, Doflamingo sat up and crossed his arms: “You’re so cold today.”

“My body temperature didn’t drop.”

“Oh come on,” Doflamingo huffed as he dragged himself into the kitchen: “Are you mad at me?”

“Of course not,” Vergo smirked: “I don’t get mad at you.”

“You better don’t,” the blond frowned as he sat down onto the table.

“Get your ass off the table Doffy.”

“No. You like my ass, remember?”

“Yes, but not on the table.”

Doflamingo lied down, back somewhat uncomfortably onto the table: “How about now?”

Vergo feigned a sigh as he leaned over, kissing the blond.

“I need to place the food on the table remember.”

“Ain’t I the best food you’ve seen so far?” Doflamingo smirked as his arms wrapped themselves around his partner’s neck.

“You’re getting closer to the hamburgers.”

“Well damn.”

Easily breaking the hold on his neck, Vergo returned to the stove.

“Rocinante called by the way.”

“Really? What was his problem?”

“I don’t know, he was having trouble with Law.”

“Fufufufu, and he needed my advice?”

“No, he said, and I quote: “If Doffy misuses this situation I’m shoving my fist up his ass”.”

“Kinky,” Doflamingo chuckled: “Did he give any more information about Law’s situation?”

“Something about his studies and his general well-being.”

“Oh wow. Sounds like dear Lawsy is having a hard time~.”

“Not as much as you will if you interfere,” Vergo replied: “I still remember the Rocinante from training days.”

“Come to think about it, you two never told me anything about those,” Doflamingo jumped onto the ground: “How come?”

“Nothing interesting happened. Of course everyone was sad when your brother left, but then again, he’s doing great now.”

“Of course!” Doflamingo practically beamed with pride: “He’s a Donquixote after all!”

“Exactly,” Vergo grinned: “He’s doing _amazingly_ great considering he _is_ a Donquixote.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Doflamingo huffed as he clung onto his partner: “Vergo~! This is bad for my heart!”

“You don’t have a heart,” Vergo shot back.

“What?!” Doflamingo feigned being shot, clutching his chest while dramatically collapsing onto the floor.

“I stole it remember,” Vergo turned around and gave him the most seducing look ever, which would’ve completely made the blond faint if not for the ridiculous spoon attached to his cheek.

~0~

Doflamingo groaned as he opened his eye, the soft breathing of Vergo completely pulling him out of his dreams. Struggling to sit up straight, he grabbed his phone.

_Kid – 20 missed calls_

Well, he didn’t expect Kid to call him this much after giving him his phone number. A bit worried, he pushed the call-button and pressed the cold device against his ear. Shivering, he crawled back under the blankets, nestling into his partner’s arms while impatiently waiting for Kid to answer.

“Hm?”

“Kid? You called, what’s wrong?”

“Ah… No it’s okay…”

“Are you sure?” Doflamingo’s voice turned stern.

“Yeah… It’s just… I’m having a bit of problems…”

“With what? Tell me.”

“Sleeping I guess… I’m glad I didn’t wake you up though…”

“Don’t worry about it… Did anything strange happen?”

“Eh… I grabbed a drink and I noticed a shadow sneaking around the building… Nothing happened though.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

~0~

“I know what you mean, trust me.”

Doflamingo tried his very best, but in the end failed not to eavesdrop on Kid’s conversation with an orange-haired girl named Nami. She had been dragged along with Luffy, a blond named Sanji and a green-haired guy named Zoro. And out of the three, she was the only one with enough common sense to strike a conversation with the reason of their visit. Zoro was slightly pouting while drinking his cocktail, as Doflamingo had denied him booze, Sanji was trying out some of the snacks and commenting on them while Luffy just inhaled it all like a vacuum cleaner going through a house during spring cleaning.

“Yeah… Thanks…” Kid scratched his neck.

“Honestly… And here I thought you were a brute with no feelings,” she stuck her tongue out before turning her head to her friends: “Jeez you guys. Behave a bit will you?”

“Yes Nami- _chwan_!!!” Sanji rushed over to her side, kneeling and taking her hand: “Anything you wish for, princess~.”

“Ero-idiot,” Zoro huffed while gulping down the rest of his drink.

“What the hell was that?!”

The two dashed towards each other, causing Doflamingo to slam down his hand onto the counter.

“If you guys fight, I will kill you.”

The two eyed Doflamingo for a few seconds before they sat down again, grumbling in dissatisfaction and annoyance.

“Nah mister,” Luffy asked: “You’re a really scary guy!”

“Am I now?” the blond smirked as he leaned onto the counter: “Who knows? Don’t you guys have school-stuff to do?”

“Yeah you’re right. Zoro, Sanji, Luffy, we should really leave you know!” Nami shouted.

“Okay!”

“Yes Nami- _chan_!!!”

“Seemed like you were enjoying the conversation,” Kid commented as he leaned onto the counter.

“Well… My bar, my right to eavesdrop.”

“You’re not even hiding it,” Kid grumbled but he did smile.

“So when are you returning to school? If you don’t have a good reason they might make you drop out.”

Kid shrugged: “Whatever, I didn’t even chose that school. I’d rather go do mechanics or something.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… But I’ll need money for it.”

The blond raised his eyebrow upon noticing Kid looked redder than normal.

“So… Uh… Can I perhaps…?”

“Borrow some money?”

“What?! No!” Kid exclaimed: “Even I have my pride! I’d ask if I could… Um work here?”

Doflamingo tapped his chin: “It’s not that busy here fufufu…”

Before Kid could look even more like a kicked puppy, Doflamingo laughed: “Sure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I’m not sure if becoming a maniacal bartender’s waiter was your dream job but you’re hired.”

“Maniacal-? Wait, what do you mean?”

“I’ll show you around in the storage room,” Doflamingo headed into the back, but not before letting out a cackle that made Kid shiver in fear.

~0~

“You have a waiter?” Rocinante frowned as he pointed at Kid: “Isn’t he too young?”

“Part-time baby bro,” Doflamingo patted him onto the head. Quick as a viper, Rocinante reached forwards and grabbed Doflamingo by the tie, slamming his upper-body onto the counter and knocking the air out of his lungs: “Do that again and I might just hurt you dear brother.”

“Umph!!!”

Grinning, Rocinante let go again.

“Next time you do that I’m dropping _two_ cocktail shakers onto your head!”

The younger blond laughed out loud.

"You wouldn't do that dear brother."

"Oh really?"

"Of course not," the young man continued laughing.

"And why not?"

"Because a sleep-deprived surgeon might just start chasing you and shove a sword up your ass," Rocinante chuckled as he gave Doflamingo a pat onto his head, the latter clearly taken back.


	5. Crash

 “Oi! Oi Doflamingo!”

Doflamingo let out a groan as a loud voice pulled him out of his dreams. Blinking, shapes and colours soon blended into Kid. Letting out a sheepish laugh, Doflamingo stretched. While he did sleep better when Vergo didn’t have night-shift, it didn’t take away the fact that he suffered from sleep deprivation, so he found himself guilty of taking naps whenever no one was looking. Just too bad Kid had caught him.

“Did I fall asleep?”

“Yes,” Kid grumbled: “There, I cleaned the entire place.”

“Daw, thanks tulip,” Doflamingo chuckled, still a bit sleep-charged.

“I’m not a tulip!” Kid roared as he dropped the broom onto the floor.

“Hey be careful with my equipment,” Doflamingo retorted as if Kid’s anger wasn’t justified.

“Whatever! Instead of picking on me, why don’t you go take a nap in the back?”

“I’m not picking on you,” the blond huffed: “And I’m not gonna take a nap in the bed you occupy, that’d be rude.”

“Well it’s even ruder to sleep in a place where possible customers can see you.”

“Daw, are you worried about me?”

“No, but you pay me so I’m at least concerned with any possible damage to this bar’s profit.”

“Such a good liar,” Doflamingo laughed as he flicked Kid’s nose: “But the place isn’t even open yet so hush.”

“Ouch! Don’t do that!”

“I’m sorry my poor little tulip.”

“AND CUT THAT OUT OLD MAN!”

“I’m not old! Mind your manners brat,” the blond reached forwards and pinched the youth’s nose.

“Let go you geezer!”

“Fufufu, say please?”

“Never!!!”

“Then I’ll just keep on pinching until I hear your nasal bones break.”

“WHAT?!!!”

A knock on the window made the blond lessen his grip on Kid’s nose, though his fingers remained firmly in place. As such, Kid was unable to spot who was currently stealing the bartender’s attention, though he felt somewhat grateful.

A tall man with an afro was currently peeking through the window and when he noticed Doflamingo had spotted him, he gave a polite bow and waved.

Intrigued, Doflamingo let go of Kid, who immediately started rubbing his nose while the blond took long strides towards the entrance door.

“Hm? Is something the matter sir? We’re not open yet, I’m afraid,” Doflamingo swung the door open and stuck his head outside.

“Yohohoho! I’m not here for a drink so it’s no problem. I just came by to check on you.”

“Check on me? I don’t think we know each other?”

“Ah, a few days ago, I saw a fight here! Since I was passing by again, I came to look to what happened.”

“Oh, you’re the one who called the police?” scratching his neck, Doflamingo felt like he _did_ owe him, so he made way: “Why don’t you come in and have a drink? As a way to say thanks.”

“Oh my, that’d be wonderful! My name’s Brook by the way… My, I forgot to introduce myself.”

“Fufufu… Nice to meet you Brook, you can call me Doflamingo.”

 

“Who’s that?” Kid pointed at Brook, still holding his nose.

“Don’t point at people dumbo.”

“Don’t call me dumb!”

“Whatever you say tulip.”

“I’M NOT A TULIP!”

Rolling his eye behind his shades, Doflamingo turned towards Brook, placing a hand onto his hip: “I like, seriously hate it when my interior décor starts talking back to me. The world is a disrespectful place these days.”

“Yohohohoho!!!” Brook let out a hearted laugh, though the sentiment wasn’t shared by Kid. Instead, the youngster wasted no time in rudely flipping Doflamingo off. A flick of a finger, against his ear this time, however, made the hand drop. Sulking, the redhead grabbed a lemonade and sat down at the counter next to Brook.

“Yohohoho… My, it was the first time I actually saw a bar fight! I must say I was a bit worried…”

“Ah, nothing my brother and I can’t handle,” Doflamingo replied as he seated himself onto the counter, his long legs only a few feet away from the ground.

“Do you _have_ to sit on the counter?” Kid remarked.

“I like to place my ass wherever the hell I want to. Go make your homework,” Doflamingo shooed Kid away, who stuck out his tongue but did head back into the back.

“Yohohoho! Is he your kid?”

“Fufufufu… His name _is_ Kid, but he’s not my kid. I’m looking after him.”

“Oh my, how nice!”

“What about you Brook?”

“Eh… Well… You could say I’m looking after someone as well, yohohoho! She’s quite arrogant and egoistic and vain and spoiled… But she’s really nice deep down!”

“Hm…” Doflamingo mused for a bit. He only saw one side of Kid most of the time, maybe he should try a bit harder to discover more of his personality.

~0~

“Unbelievable!” Rocinante slammed his hand down, clearly looking upset, though Doflamingo couldn’t really tell why.

“What’s wrong Roci? And can you please stop abusing my counter…”

“Wait you don’t know Doffy?”

“Eh… No-?”

“Unbelievable. Donquixote… Doflamingo, if it weren’t for me, you’d be running around in your underwear and shirt.”

“Um… What? You’re usually not using nonsense on me.”

“Haven’t you heard it? Just one street away from here, on the next corner, they’re opening a coffee shop!”

“What?!”

“Well, it’s like a mix between coffee shop, house and bar. The plans aren’t well known, but it promoted itself by ‘bringing sweets and hot drinks closer to people’.”

“This means war,” Kid said as he seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

“Stop eavesdropping on us Kid, you’re not employed long enough to have access to that skill-slot.”

“Well excuse me,” Kid rolled his eyes.

“Show some respect to your boss,” Doflamingo retorted: “And don’t be so childish. We shouldn’t take this so seriously… While it will be competition, we both specialize in something different!”

“But what about all the high school students that hang around?” Rocinante inquired.

“Well, it might actually be better for the bar’s reputation if there _aren’t_ any students in here.”

“You should start advertising though,” the younger brother berated him.

“Relax Roci, my natural charms will do the trick.”

“Exactly, you have _no_ natural charms so get your ass in gear and do something you lazy idiot.”

“Wow, you’re being _surprisingly_ nice with me, donut,” Doflamingo scoffed: “I think you two are over-exaggerating. Now please, stop annoying me.”

“Uh… No.”

Doflamingo glared, though Rocinante returned it, poker-face ready and not willing to back down.

“Doflamingo, I think there’s a customer-…”

“Shut up tulip.”

“I’m not a tulip!”

“Can you stop yelling child?” Rocinante requested in a calmer voice though he was looking down on Kid just as much as Doflamingo was.

“Ah fuck you two!”

“Honestly Kid,” Doflamingo turned his head: “You can’t handle neither of us, I don’t think you could handle both of us at the same time.”

“Yeah especially when we start using combos,” Rocinante chimed in.

Kid’s eyebrow twitched as a pair of very similar faces gazed upon him.

“Triangle, triangle, circle, square.”

“You dumbass, we use X at the end.”

“Uh, only if we want to embarrass ourselves.”

“I hate you two,” Kid groaned as he stormed off to serve the customers.

“Gosh, he’s so rude, he reminds me on Law,” Rocinante sighed and Doflamingo couldn’t even tell whether it was a joke or not.

~0~

Humming, Rocinante patiently waited for his brother to _hurry the fuck up and lock the door so they could go already_. Kid was standing next to him, equally cold and equally pissed.

“Come on Cinderella move your ass.”

“Ah shut it Roci!” Doflamingo yelled as he walked towards them. Grunting the three gave up on any more conversation and climbed into the car. Pressing the radio button, a soft classical piece resonated throughout the car while Doflamingo started driving, Kid comfortably nestling himself on the backseat, though it was too cold.

“It’s cold.”

“Oh,” Rocinante turned his head and peeked over his seat: “Try taking a look underneath the bank. You might find something!”

“That sounds strangely ominous,” Kid sweat dropped as he reached underneath. Immediately his fingers brushed something soft and when he sat up straight again, he was holding two huge, feathered coats. The first one was very soft and pink, the second one was slightly coarser and pure black, though there were a few places where it looked like dark purple.

“What are these?”

“They’re ours and they’re really warm,” Rocinante chuckled. Kid shrugged but wrapped them around himself anyways. The sudden huge amount of heat almost made him melt and he let out a sigh of satisfaction as he curled up.

He felt warm. He felt _safe_.

 

“Thank you.”

The words were sudden and remained unanswered. Rocinante bit his lip, unsure of what to say. He didn’t actually help Kid, the credit was all Doflamingo’s. Doflamingo on the other hand, seemed _very_ uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong Doffy?”

“That car behind us… Has been following us for quite some time.”

“Tch.”

Kid looked up at the words, opening the window and sticking his head outside.

“Kid are you crazy??? Don’t put your head outside a moving vehicle!!!” Rocinante roared as a long arm pulled the redhead back inside.

“Hey! I’m just trying to check!”

“Roci’s right Kid! We don’t want anything happening to y-!!!”

A loud crash blocked all sounds out and soon Kid found himself flying forwards, air knocked out of him as his nose made a disturbing noise. Blood streaming down his face, he was thrown backwards as the car started spinning. Blurs of the environment, of Rocinante and Doflamingo, they all turned into a darkness and soon there was nothing but silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah cliché cliffhangers. We writers just can't help ourselves \ovo/


	6. Christmas Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry early Christmas everyone! I wanted to write something fluffy and fun to get into the Christmas-spirit, but the story didn’t allow me… So I did it anyways! This chapter isn’t really part of the main story, but it’s in the same setting with the same characters! Consider this a separate holiday timeline.
> 
> I’d like to wish you all good holidays :)

“Please turn off the radio Vergo,” Doflamingo groaned as yet another Christmas song came on. Vergo chuckled but did as requested.

“Thank you,” the blond sighed as he put the star onto the three: “There, all finished.”

“Good job,” Vergo nodded as he went to grab them some drinks.

Flopping down onto the couch, Doflamingo stared at the ceiling: “Why do we need to go through the trouble of putting up a Christmas tree???”

“Because it’s a tradition Doffy… And it looks better this way.”

“Whatever… I just hope Kid gets here soon… A trip to the supermarket shouldn’t take this long.”

As by miracle, the door swung open and a huffing Kid appeared, carrying some grocery-bags.

“Wait when did we give you a key?” Doflamingo inquired.

“The writer did so she doesn’t have to explain why I’m living here.”

“Wait who?”

“Never mind,” Kid replied: “Also as a way to turn this even more chaotic, I brought Luffy.”

“Wait what?”

“And mistletoe.”

“Wait why?”

Vergo’s head appeared from the kitchen.

“Because the readers want us to kiss.”

“Not really,” Kid pulled a face: “Because it gives us opportunity for misunderstandings and shipping.”

“Shipping?” Luffy appeared behind Kid: “Are we shipping something?”

“Shipping you back to Japan where you came from.”

“How rude! You know I’d be Brazilian!”

“Wait who told you that?”

“That weird man that draws me.”

“Wait what?”

“Shishishi!”

“I do not understand anything you guys are saying,” Doflamingo rubbed his temples: “Did you guys smoke something?”

“Smoking is bad! Remember that readers.”

“Wait who are the ‘readers’. Why do you sound like some health advertisement dude?”

“AND SKIP!!!”

“WAIT WHAT???”

~0~

“Merry Christmas Doffy!”

Doflamingo opened the door, only to have his little brother practically jump into his arms. Yet he was only a few inches shorter and as such, he knocked the older Donquixote over.

“Roci!!! Why do you have to do this every year?!!!”

“Because it’s fun,” Rocinante smugly smirked as he got off again.

“Yeah, fun,” Law replied in a monotonous voice.

“Aw come on big bro,” a girl’s voice chimed in and soon Lamy appeared: “Hi uncle Doffy!”

“Lamy… My favourite niece!”

“Your only niece,” she retorted with a huge smile as she hugged him.

“Yo Lamy!” Kid waved.

“Wait you guys know each other?” Doflamingo frowned.

“Yeah duh… We met behind the scenes.”

“Scenes of what? What is going on here? Are we in a secret reality show or something?”

“Food’s ready get to the table,” Vergo yelled.

“Oi Vergo, I was busy over here!” Doflamingo protested.

“Shhh Doffy, less talking, more eating.”

“That sounds like horrible sex-advice,” Lamy giggled.

“Lamy, don’t say such obscene things you twat.”

“Rocinante! Don’t call me a twat you dickhead!”

“Wow! Easy with the swearing okay? Writer can only use a certain amount in one chapter.”

“Wait what?” Doflamingo by this point, was terrified: “What is going on?!”

“Alright, get ready, change of plans, we’re going to Doffy’s bar,” Rocinante put his phone back into his pocket.

“Wait why???”

“Because not everyone fits in this apartment dumbo,” Kid rolled his eyes.

“Gosh they gave Doffy only dumb lines huh?” Rocinante chimed in.

 ~0~

“Would someone please explain me why there’s a Christmas party in my bar yet I didn’t organize or know about it?”

“Stop being so annoying Doflamingo.”

“I hate you all.”

“You don’t hate me,” Vergo smiled as he pecked him onto the cheek.

“Ewww, there are kids in here! Keep it safe for work okay?!” Lamy gagged.

“Hush Lamy, we don’t complain about your face,” Vergo shrugged.

“Wow! Bitch please, have you seen this face?!” Lamy shook her head in disbelief: “I’m like the hottest girl on the block, people are dying to get to know me.”

“Toys and teddy bears don’t count Lamy,” Nami interrupted.

“Your opinion doesn’t count either Nami,” Lamy scoffed.

“Wow, why is everyone so sassy today?”

“Because we’re all sassy but we try to keep this story going so we usually hide it.”

“Wait, from whom?”

“Donquixote _fucking_ Doflamingo,” Rocinante roared as he grabbed Doflamingo by the collar: “If you even dare to use the pattern ‘wait followed by an interrogative pronoun’ again I’m shoving your biggest bottle of alcohol in this room up your ass!”

“Wow Rocinante that’s going _wayyyy_ too far!” Kid remarked.

“Yeah, everyone knows you need to use lube if you do butt-stuff,” Law chimed in.

“Wow Law,” Vergo smirked: “Never thought a surgeon would use the word ‘butt-stuff’.”

“If you are going to shove non-crystalline amorphous solid-things in Donquixote Doflamingo’s rectum I highly suggest you make use of silicone-based lube, as it offers a different feel from the usual water-based lube and is not absorbed by skin or mucus membranes so you can go at it for an entire night.”

“Wow Law, way to turn kinks into a detailed documentary,” Rocinante scoffed.

“It’s a gift,” Law shrugged: “Though if you really shove a bottle up his ass I’d like to film that for blackmailing purposes.”

“Ew you mean masturbation purposes,” Lamy gagged again.

“No… I mean there’s free porn for that.”

“Everyone knows free porn sucks,” Kid commented.

“More than you,” Lamy grinned.

“I’m in a porn video I think”, Doflamingo said as he loosened Rocinante’s grip on him.

“Oh wow how did I not expect that?” Law shook his head.

“Hey guys!” Ace appeared, carrying… Grapes?

“In the last twelve seconds of the year we need to eat twelve grapes! Or maybe the first twelve seconds of the new year… I forgot…”

“Wait wh-,” seeing Rocinante grab a bottle from nearby Doflamingo abruptly shut his mouth again.

“You were really serious about this huh?” Zoro asked the blond.

“Of course. Just because he’s my brother doesn’t mean he’s not an asshole that deserves it.”

“Way to cover up that you just want to kill your brother.”

“It’s not killing him,” Rocinante shrugged, still holding the bottle: “If I wanted to kill my brother I’d shoot him.”

“People can die from ripped rectum-wands I think.”

“OF COURSE you dumbasses. If you rip those wands bacteria’s will get in his blood,” Law roared.

“Wow can we like not talk about killing me?” Doflamingo gasped: “I’m a nice guy! What did I ever do?”

“You enslaved thousands of people, turned those who opposed you into toys and threw them away, forgotten and alone, deceived an entire country, lit houses on fire, laid waste on the land, enslaved the dwarf-princess, made my friend cry and much, much more,” Luffy suddenly spit out.

“Wait what?”

“Oh Doffy,” Rocinante cooed as he grabbed his brother and tightened his grip on the bottle.

 

“Ready go!”

Ignoring Doflamingo’s screams somewhere in the back*, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Luffy, Ace, Kid, Vergo, Law and Lamy all took twelve grapes and chomped them down in the last twelve seconds of Christmas eve.

“Merry Christmas everyone!”

“Wait why are we eating grapes??? That’s a new year’s tradition!”

“…”

“I think I left the food on the stove,” Vergo murmured out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Disclaimer: Doflamingo did not get hurt. Rocinante did not shove that bottle up his ass either. He just tortured him with puns and tickles.


	7. Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late but the story continues~

Doflamingo slowly opened his eyes. His head was hazy and his gaze blurry, as such, he almost gagged when he felt something against the back of his throat. His struggle turned into panic as bright white light greeted him and his fingers gripped what felt like a blanket as his legs started to kick.

“Easy!” a familiar voice called out and soon a pair of hands pressed him down again. Squinting, he saw a face which resembled his and soon he could remember.

“Roci…”

“Hey there brother,” Rocinante gave a bitter smile as he kept his hands firmly planted onto his brother’s chest, stopping him from causing more damage to both the equipment and himself.

“Where… Am I?” he tried to sit up but his body protested and immediately let itself fall down onto the bed, the frame shaking under the sudden shift of weight.

“Hush, you’re in no condition to move,” Rocinante hummed as he pressed a red button on the wall.

“Roci… Answer the question!” he spat out.

“Okay grumpy… The both of us were in a car crash… Some random passer-by noticed the car wreck and called the ambulance for us.

“Roci… Why did you leave me behind?”

“What?” eyebrows scrunched, Rocinante came closer, holding Doflamingo’s hand: “What are you talking about Doffy?”

“I was in a car… Sinking… And you escaped and left me… I was stuck and you swum away.”

“No, no, such a thing didn’t happen!” the other blond firmly shook his head: “It must’ve been a coma-dream Doffy.”

“Coma? What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been out for two months Doffy.”

Doflamingo’s eye started twitching as he felt himself shaking. Two months? What had happened? The heart-monitor started beeping louder as he pulled away out of Rocinante’s grip.

“I gotta go… The bar… Mom, Dad…! Kid!”

He felt himself freeze as memories of Kid started flooding in.

“I have to-!!!”

“No!” Rocinante by now was struggling to hold the other blond back, afraid of the needles and tubes breaking: “Where are you guys?!”

Just as he was about to press the red button again, Law entered the room.

“Law! Stop this maniac!”

It only took a second for Law to understand what was going on. Rushing over to the bed, he took a syringe from a nearby table.

“Law what are you doing here??? You haven’t graduated yet!!!”

“Sleepy sleepy uncle Doffy,” Law smiled and to Doflamingo it seemed as if the Devil was staring at him. Hissing at the intrusion of a needle, he felt himself grow heavier and soon he was knocked out again.

~0~

The next time he opened his eye, Vergo was there alongside Rocinante.

“How are you feeling Doffy?” Vergo’s tone was soft and Doflamingo had it hard to understand what he was saying. He blinked and let out a low groan.

“I feel like… Shit…” his words were slowly voiced and dragged out.

“That’s because of the anesthetic Law gave you,” Rocinante explained: “You were getting too worked up so he had to sedate you.”

“I bet he loved that,” the blond weakly smiled before a sharp sting inside his chest made him cough.

“You need to recover before worrying about other things,” Vergo said and Rocinante gave a nod of agreement.

“Kid… How’s Kid?”

“We don’t know,” the raven shook his head: “Kid wasn’t in the car-wreckage.”

“He…?” blood freezing, a warm hand was placed onto Doflamingo’s forehead.

“Don’t become hysterical,” Vergo sighed: “But yes, he wasn’t there. We suspect you guys were driven off the road by someone else.”

“Kid’s father-?”

“Or his henchmen,” Rocinante chimed in: “Regardless of that, all traces of Kid have disappeared. He wasn’t in his high school either.”

“Tch.”

“Get better soon Doffy.”

~0~

“Are you sure you’ll be fine? I can call Rocinante-…”

“No I’ll be fine, thank you Law,” Doflamingo smiled as he pulled his jacket a bit tighter around himself. At least Rocinante had been as smart as to bring clothes he actually loved wearing.

“Okay, be careful on your way home then.”

“As careful as I’ll ever be. Good luck with the rest of your internship!” and with that, the blond paced out of the hospital.

The cold wind immediately hit him into his face and he let out a chuckle. Nothing better than fresh air after staying in the hospital. A week had passed since he had woken up and while Law had been sceptical of letting him go, there wasn’t really any other argument to let him stay, so as the sly snake he was, Doflamingo had left.

“Oh!!! Mister!!! It’s been a while!!!!”

Hearing a loud voice call out for him, Doflamingo swore he almost got a heart-attack.

“It’s me Luffy! It’s been a while!” Luffy yelled as he almost threw himself against the blond.

“Just call me Doflamingo Luffy,” Doflamingo sighed: “What are you doing here?”

“I came to visit my brother,” Luffy grinned: “Shishishi, it’s been a while since I saw you though! That other blond dude said you were sleeping!”

“You mean Roci huh?”

“Yeah yeah yeah!!! Things were pretty boring without you! So it’s great that you’re back!”

“Ah, thanks for the compliment.”

“Where are you going?”

“To my bar,” Doflamingo replied. Well, he had been thinking about going home first, but seeing Luffy reminded him that he had a business to take care off.

“Can I walk with you???”

“If you’re quiet then yes!”

“Yes!!!”

 

Sadly enough Luffy had the memory of a fish, if you asked Doflamingo. The raven couldn’t help but make fun and be irresponsible during the walk. He would trip over loose tiles, make fun of Doflamingo _and_ his name, tell lame jokes or try imitations of people the blond hadn’t even heard of.

“Enough Luffy,” Doflamingo sighed as he interrupted Luffy’s “Robin-imitation”. Honestly he had no clue who the woman was but he was damn sure she wouldn’t be all too pleased with Luffy’s imitation.

“Oh we’re finally here!” Luffy smiled: “Race you inside!”

“You can’t enter Luffy the door is-!” Doflamingo’s jaw dropped as he noticed the sound coming from the inside and he almost fainted when Luffy threw open the front door and hopped inside.

“What the-?”

“Oh Doffy? Finally back?”

Standing behind _his_ counter in _his_ bartender outfit was Rocinante.

“…. Roci… You’ve got one minute to explain what’s going on!”

Looking around, Doflamingo was met by strangers all over the place.

“I’m keeping your bar open,” Rocinante rolled his eyes: “You were out for two months remember? Vergo and I decided that I’d take over so this place wouldn’t close down. Be grateful.”

“Well _thanks_ , baby bro…”

“Oh swallow your pride will you,” Rocinante reprimanded.

“I don’t swallow,” Doflamingo shot back, anger bubbling inside of him. He didn’t even know why he got so angry… Rocinante was clearly trying to help him, yet… This bar had been his. If it succeeded, it finally meant he had made it on his own.

“Fine, fine,” Rocinante could read his brother like an open book and decided to avoid confrontation. Even though most of their quarrels were just playful brawls, Doflamingo was still recovering and he’d rather not stress his older brother in any way. Tapping onto the counter, he wordlessly invited Doflamingo to sit with him. The older gave a hum of approval before he sat down onto the counter again, eyes scanning the bar. There were more people than ever before, most of whom he hadn’t even seen yet. But what made him frown the most was the lack of high school students. Besides Luffy, there really wasn’t anyone of high school age.

“Where did all the students go?”

“They’re in the coffee shop. Remember? They opened one a few streets away from here.”

“Oh yeah,” Doflamingo could vaguely remember something about a coffee shop: “I guess it’s doing well.”

“Uh, you’ll never guess who the owner is…”

“Who?”

“Gecko Moriah.”

Doflamingo choked.

“Moriah??!”

“Well basically his daughter is running the place, though the papers are on his name.”

“Holy… I never thought I’d hear that name again… I thought Moriah left for Norway?”

“Well he came back I guess.”

“We should hop in and say hello~.”

“You are in no state to go, Doffy. And besides, he might not be around.”

“Gecko Moriah…” Doflamingo murmured and a genuine smile formed on his face: “I didn’t think I’d ever hear of any of _them_ again.”

“If you’re planning on organizing a reunion, don’t. You’re already an asshole but all of you together is like bringing the horsemen of the Apocalypse together.”

“Fufufu.”

 


End file.
